Love Across the Pond

So, I'm back! A few weeks away from the blogs, and just about anything, so I guess I need to explain myself.

One of the reasons I've been not blogging (and not working!) is I have just had surgery on my knee. I'll talk more about that another time as I'm sure a lot of people are tired of hearing about it.

The main reason is that for the first couple of weeks of my time away, I had my very lovely girlfriend fly over and visit me in the motherland. That's here in the UK if you don't know. 

Now, rather inconveniently, if you ask me, she lives in Boston, MA. Or more precisely just outside, but it's much easier to say Boston. So, there is plenty of inconvenience that comes with this. But believe me, it is so damn worth it.

I have had several people ask me "why don't you just date someone near you?"

Yeah, sure. Simple as that. Do I date someone who I actually like, or do I date someone because I can save a buck seeing them, but I don't really like them? Give me a break. If convenience was an issue, I don't think I'd be writing this blog right now.

Basically living off poor connections

It's hard. Believe me. I don't know if people truly appreciate how hard it is. When it comes to me choosing to talk over a crappy FaceTime feed than going to the pub, or asking for certain times off work for holiday and they make things more awkward than they need to be. It sounds like it's me making things awkward, but I think you have to put yourself in our shoes and truly appreciate the effort we have to put in.  

The obvious difficulty comes in the form of time zones. Ugh. The time zones! Does she get up earlier so we can talk or do I stay up late for the same reason? I know which one I prefer... But those difficulties never get any easier. I need my sleep, and yet I still feel bad every time I need to go to sleep, even if it's 11pm! At that point it's 6pm with her, which sounds like I'm going to bed really early.

Whereas most people don't need to plan to see their significant other, we have to plan when we are seeing each other months, sometimes a whole year, in advance; which takes a hell of a lot of organising! Severe budgeting comes in to play, mainly for flights, which will more than likely leave me broke. So, sorry for the nights out missed or the simple meet ups I've not made it to, but I have good reason. But I tell you what, I have built a very impressive knowledge of airports and airlines due to this (KLM/Delta are the good'uns, and I love me some time in Amsterdam airport).

This also means that you're constantly counting down to something. As soon as she goes, the next countdown begins. Currently, we're at 65 days... I guess it does mean you always have something to look forward to, but you don't want to experience day 32 of a 72 day wait over and over again.

I think we probably send soppy messages more often than your average couple, purely because we're unable to say these things face-to-face. Every now and then, the thought crosses my mind "am I sending too many of these?" and the answer would probably be yes if she was just at work for the day and I'd see her in the evening. That all changes when there is 3,000+ miles of Atlantic Ocean between you. 

We haven't spent a birthday or an anniversary together, although I have tried to make sure I'm in America for some of the bigger holiday events. But birthdays and anniversaries are the days you are meant to be able to spoil your significant other, we can only do that from a distance. We'll send presents and what not, but that doesn't nearly make up for the presence you really want.

Third wheeling pains

There is the constant feeling of third wheeling, even though you are in a relationship. Hanging out with people and their boy or girlfriend and you just feel jealous. Walk past people holding hands, and you feel jealous. Two people sat having dinner, and you just feel jealous. All your time makes you do is give you more reasons as to why you miss that person. 

But the goodbyes are the hardest. I've constantly said they'll get easier, and they never f*cking do! It never feels like she's leaving until the bag packing begins and the drive to the airport dawns on us. And then you're holding them, not wanting to let go because you know when you do, it'll be the last time you do for a very long time! Oh god! Just thinking about it is making me well up!

But it's all worth it. Believe me. The heart ache. The stuttering FaceTime calls. The expensive flights. The moping around for three months waiting. It's all worth. Because you know it's not forever. The distance between you, it won't be forever.

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You can read my other blogs at FeedTheSport and ScriptEye here.