10 People We All Encounter At The Gym
You've made it to the gym. You've completed that first daunting task. You go to begin your workout, and if this is your first time, then you have no idea what you are in for. I've compiled a list of the people we regularly see at the gym, and I have no doubt that you will have also seen these people too.
The ExhibionistLet's start with one we're all far too familiar with. You know the ones. The ones who are simply there to show you their gains from the last time they were there. And it's fine, you're proud of how you look and wanna show it off. Cool. But when you walk in in little shorts and a vest that exposes your nipples (I'm clearly talking about men here), then we're going to far. YOU CAN'T EVEN WORKOUT YOUR NIPPLES YOU HAVE NO REASON TO SHOW IT OFF!
The worst I've seen is from an older chap at a gym I used to attend. He looked in good shape. He went to the mirror, pulled his shorts down and proceeded to model his legs for the whole gym. Lovely pair of y-fronts on show for everyone. Get outta here.
Word of warning: DO NOT type in gym exhibitionist into Google images...
The Grunter
This is strongly linked to the one above. The grunters can be seen at all good squat racks and bench presses near you. Normally accompanied by a face that many may only see during an activity shared between two people, the grunters are those people that want everyone to make sure they know they're working out. Every rep. Errrgggghhhh. Without fail. Errrrrgggghhhh. No workout can be complete. Errrrrgggghhhh. Without a grunt.Now I'm all up for pushing yourself and lifting a weight that is challenging, but if you're forced to grunt like a tennis match between Maria Sharapova and Venus Williams, I think that lift may be too much for you bro. Get outta here.
The HoarderYou're tempted to nominate this person to appear on Hoarding: Buried Alive with the amount of gym equipment they're using.
"Excuse me, I'm using that."
No you're not, you're on the other side of the gym doing push-ups.
Super-sets are great ways to work out and a great way of cramming a lot in, but not if you're the other person in the gym waiting five minutes for the dip machine to become available.
These people will usually be the ones that leave the gym in a state too. Dumbbells and barbells spread around the gym like a weights-massacre. They could easily have a section of their own. Get outta here.
The School Kids
The problem is, they surround the one machine they're mate is on, even if there is like four of them. The fill the gym like a fart in an enclosed elevator.
They're all in it together though. They don't really know what they're doing, but they don't know what they're doing together. The blind leading the blind. Get outta here.
They'll also link beautifully into the next category...
The Social Butterfly/The TechnophileThe Social Butterfly. The person who can't stop talking to everyone, disrupting their workout and also the person they've decided to target today. I choose my gym strategically on whether I feel I will be spoken at all. I've been mid-rep once and someone came over to talk to me.
The Technophile. It's not quite the correct use of the word, but it's the person who is one their phone 99% of the time. Clearly, if you're on your phone as soon as you've finished a set, you're not working hard enough.
Both of you, get outta here.
The X Factor Hopeful
Where the hell did that come from?? If the gym could be in virtual silence, that would be a dream.
Linked to this is also the people that play their music out loud for everyone to listen to, like they've got the next banging playlist that everyone needs. Mate. Move aside. It's like those guys in New York that will stop you at every corner - you want to listen to my mixtape? Get outta here.
The What On Earth Are You Doing People
People starting the gym is all good with me! I don't understand why people get so riled when newbies start the gym in January just because they've said it's their New Year's Resolution. But it is funny seeing a lot of them work out how to use new gym equipment. And it's not just some newbies, it's usually some avid gym-goers.Hey! I'm not going to lie. I was like this when I first started. You end up lurking near a piece of equipment waiting for someone else to use it before you so you can learn from a distance how to use it.
What's weird is when you have seen the same person there for months on end, and they're still using the equipment wrong. Either learn correctly or get outta here.
The Leg Avoider
You'd feel with how much weight and muscle they're upper body has that their legs might get a bit of a workout from having to put up with it.
But the legs slowly seem to disappear, becoming nothing more than twigs after a few months.
It's as if they are preparing to appear on a TV panel show. "No one is going to see my legs anyway, so why work on them?" Get outta here.
The Selfie Master or MistressAs long as the whole of their social media knows they've been working out because they have a killer selfie, then it's all good. They might spend ages in front of the mirror, working the perfect angle, with a 30kg weight conveniently near them, even though it hasn't been touched. If you wanna take pictures, go to Scotland. Beautiful views there. The gym? Not even close. Get outta here.
The Space Invader
Not talking about the game or the delicious crisp (seriously underrated). Those people who think that they can get dangerously close to you.
You lean over after finishing a major set (all my sets are major sets) and all you get is a bollock in the face.
"Hmmmm. Is it raining in here? Oh no, it's this guy sweating on me because he doesn't know boundaries."I've been in the gym before and I'm in the middle of an exercise and some guy comes in with a basketball and just starts bouncing the damn thing in my face. Can I help you? No? Then get outta here.
Anyone you think has been missed off the list? Share and comment.
You can read my other blogs at FeedTheSport and ScriptEye here.
Comments
Post a Comment